So there is a place that I used to live. It was shrouded in fear and felt very lost. I wasn’t sure of anything anymore. I had the terrifying thought of, “what if everything I ever believed was a lie?” People tend to freak at this point, both at feeling and hearing this. Doubt isn’t something that most people choose as a pleasant emotion that satisfies. I could be wrong, though.
I felt scared to doubt. And guilt that I doubted. And anger because why should I feel guilty? And so on. I was scared of what I didn’t know. Anxiety became my normal state and I let it be. I forgot there was more. Jesus died for more. But He still would have died for less. That is the truly amazing part of grace.
There was this man who walked with Jesus. Some would call him a skeptic. He didn’t let others do his thinking for him. Then, he earned the nickname Doubting Thomas when he wanted a little proof! Can you blame the guy? I mean how many people do you know who have come back from the dead? Just saying! Ummm, except Thomas had seen Jesus do some pretty amazing things. So… You would think he could somehow fathom it rather than someone like you or me, right?? Come on, dude.
The cool thing about Jesus is that He came to Thomas and gave him what he needed to believe. He didn’t chastise him, scold him, belittle him or accuse him of blasphemy. He didn’t have to show Thomas anything, and He still would have been Lord. But He proved He is a personal God who knows us and deeply cares enough about us to meet us where we are because He chose to meet Thomas’ need for belief. Because sometimes, we can’t believe very much. And that’s okay. He has quite the reach…
Hang in there. Don’t give up. Research, dig deep, journal, pray, cry, read your Bible and read what other people have to say about what you are feeling. Because you are not alone. There are so many people who would love to reach out and help in ways that they can because we are all somewhere on this journey. And we will all need help at different points along the way. Be open to both giving and receiving help. Your unique experiences may be the light of hope that someone really needs to hear right now. You just never know who’s life you can change just by being there and listening.