I used to attend these different religious revivals, sermons or conferences and listen to missionaries as they recanted of their travels in far away lands I had never even heard of. (I will be honest and say there was a little part of me that feared God would make me go somewhere like that and it sounded so awful to a shallow, immature teenager with lots of life lessons to learn still ahead of her.) I had a slanted view of God thanks to a legion of lies I had believed from the enemy that made me doubt His Word and what it said about me. Because of this, I never really studied or even opened the Bible for years. 

How clever Satan really is when we are in his crosshairs. If he cannot have our souls, he will settle for our minds and hearts. Thus rendering us completely ineffective from the inside out. And all it takes is a little shadow of doubt. A little question that can destroy a seed of faith with fear and pride in oneself for the true answer. Sounds like the devil himself. But it was so disguised, subtle, maniacal and persistent over years. People, let me say from experience that the devil has nothing but time. He is extremely patient. A potent combination for a war against a fleshly nature that lives within a culture that embraces instant gratification and constant information at your fingertips. Totally convenienced and entitled. And you don’t even realize it until it’s been happening for a long time. Well played, sir. But we are on to your schemes now. We may have been vulnerable before, but we are fortified now. How can we be confident in a world swirling with fear, doubt, and lies? 

  
I am studying Psalm 139 for my Bible Study class and I came across this link that was so helpful to me about this verse. The author puts this in everyday situations and terms to illustrate each stanza. http://www.dramatix.org.nz/archive/Walk/Psalm_139.html

Psalm 139

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

1 You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;

    you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;

    you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue

    you, Lord, know it completely.

5 You hem me in behind and before,

    and you lay your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

    too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?

    Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

    if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,

    your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

    and the light become night around me,”

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;

    the night will shine like the day,

    for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;

    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

    your works are wonderful,

    I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you

    when I was made in the secret place,

    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;

    all the days ordained for me were written in your book

    before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!

    How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,

    they would outnumber the grains of sand—

    when I awake, I am still with you.

19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked!

    Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!

20 They speak of you with evil intent;

    your adversaries misuse your name.

21 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,

    and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?

22 I have nothing but hatred for them;

    I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, God, and know my heart;

    test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,

    and lead me in the way everlasting.

If I would have taken the time to see what the Bible said about me, I would have realized that:

1.) God holds me (and you and our kids and everyone, et al.) so valuable to Himself that our human minds cannot comprehend the relationship.

2.) He planned out every single day and prepared good works just for each of us. before we were even a thought. 

3.) God will guide us throughout the peaks and valleys of this life. In the highs of the successes to the lows of the defeats and depressions.  He will never leave us. He can work all things for good for those who love Him.

4.) Because He had known us before we were born, He knows what our personalities and passions are. He is aware of our soapboxes and how feel about causes or issues in this world. Therefore, He would not send us somewhere that we won’t LOVE going to and being a part of. Maybe we won’t understand or see it for awhile. But He is a good God. His plans for our lives will always be better because His ways are higher than ours and He operates on a whole other level that we will never understand right now. 

So, we must decide. Do we surrender to His will and really trust Him with our lives? Our children’s lives? It is a difficult choice, obviously, since the road to this life is narrow. Many won’t find it at all. There is a beautiful woman of God in my class that I absolutely admire and respect and adore. She has lived through things and experienced things that I can’t even imagine. She shares her verses with us and her prayers with us, and I can’t write them down fast enough. She said last Wednesday that every morning she gets up, she thanks God for that day. She asks Him to think her thoughts, speak her words and love with her heart, because she didn’t know how. That reasonated with me to my spiritual core. She has been a believer for decades, and prays a poignant, simple prayer of surrender to remind herself and God of their relationship and faith in a God who has and continues to keep His promises.

  

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