Seeking Sonshine

"Not all who wander are lost" – J.R.R. Tolkien

Prodigalism From A Reformed Prodigal (who is prone to wander…)

Raising kids is HARD. And mine are not even in middle school yet. 😩#prayformeplease. One of the reasons I ask for prayer is because it is like a highlight reel begins playing in my head of myself as a preteen, teen and 20s-thought-I-was-an-adult-child. Aannnd I shudder. (Then, I hear stories about my husband and we think… what were we thinking??) Thank goodness for Jesus. 

The highlight reel looks so much different when I am in the role of Mom. And I wish I knew then what I know now. I hope that I would have shut up and been more grateful and realized the meaning behind the discipline. I didn’t know the why behind the rules. Not saying I would have changed my mind…if I am being honest and transparent. I was extremely passionate when I thought I was right, lol! And stubborn. (Hence the prayer request. 😉) I never could have known this without becoming a mom. That is honestly what it took for me. Unfortunately. Sorry, Mom! 😂 I know that my parents prayed for me more than I can ever imagine. Thank you, Mom and Dad. ❤

I thought maybe someone else might be on either side of the child or parent who is far from God and us. I write this as a reformed prodigal that tends to wander. Warning: It’s About to Get Real.

To the Parent of a Prodigal and A Prodigal,

I cannot even imagine how heartbreaking this is for you. The Parent/Child relationship is tricky to navigate on both sides. The hurts can run deep and defenses can be strong. Criticism kills relationships. It does. There is a difference in criticism and parenting. Make sure love is your basis for everything. And this means speaking love in the Parent or Child’s individual love language. That shows we care about them. Even when they don’t speak our love language. Even when we cannot agree. Even when we may NEVER see eye to eye. I believe God is a God of forgiveness and reconciliation. I believe it because He did it in me and I NEVER would have believed it would happen if you would have told me this during the most difficult and lowest times in my life. 

We have an enemy and it’s not each other. He wants to isolate us so he can feed lies and hate into our minds about each other so it grows in our souls and manifests in our emotions. 

First, do we believe the Bible is true? Always? Is this our own personal standard of truth? Because if we can’t believe this:

…then we have other things we need to decide. (It ain’t called a Come to Jesus Moment for nothing. Just saying.) 

We can only decide this for ourselves. We cannot force it upon anyone else. We are the only ones we can change. And we have to let Jesus do it in us. If we can come to this conclusion, we can examine how to properly fight the true enemy.

Suit up. Next step:

That is how we deal with being a Prodigal, loving a Prodigal and parenting a Prodigal. Last thing.

Ask for a loving heart if you feel you cannot muster that emotion. I speak out of being there myself and doing this. It is HARD and it HURTS. But it’s WORTH it. Because Jesus called us to do it in a capacity that we are not capable of doing without Him in our hearts. He gave us a commandment to do what He gives us the capacity and capability to live out through Himself. 

This is His standard for love. He died so we could live and love like He did. Any life worth living involves other imperfect human beings in it. Relationships are messy and raw and vulnerable. Identify your real enemy. Suit up and fight Him with Truth in your mind and your heart. Priscilla Shirer leads an excellent study called “Armor of God.” She walks you through each piece and identifies the need for each one. Then pray for strength, for love, for wisdom, for discernment and for peace. You are promised all of these things in your relationship with Christ. It’s like the bonus extended warranty that you never realize you have until you study and realize you are okay and it will all be okay. Why should we do this as quickly as possible?

We are never promised another day. There are plenty of parents and children who wish they had another chance to hear their loved one’s voice or hug him or her one more time. Jesus loves us and He wants us to love each other. He said He would help us do it. Don’t waste earthly time making temporary bargains for selfishness and stubbornness. We never know how much we have left. 


A Reformed Prodigal Who Is Prone to Wandering. ❤

Photo & Verse Credits:

YouVersion Bible App

Why You Must Never Give Up

I am three weeks away from finishing my first year as a junior high art teacher. It has been the craziest year of my life since my college days. 😂 I have had some major peaks and days of clarity and beauty and deep crevices of moments that I questioned why in the world I am doing this. There is one thing that is for certain. I know why God called me to this. He knew how passionate I am about the power of encouragement because He gave me the spiritual gift of encouragement, Himself. He knew how much I absolutely loved the arts and how good it would be for my soul to have a job that allows me to use my creativity and explore. He brought students to me that would need something from me to help encourage them and be a cheerleader for them. He knows how much I love to speak into someone’s life and show him or her love and kindness from another key adult figure. He knew I have a heart for the abused and neglected children, because He directed me toward training through C.A.S.A. all those years ago. He knew that the kids of our next generation need someone to show them why kindness matters and showing grace is a good thing for everyone involved. Our kids today face dangers that we as adults never could have even comprehended in our times. They need support and guidance so they learn what is noise and distractions from their God given gifts or talents.

I share this with you not to brag or boast, but because I spent many years distracted and depressed by many different things of this world. I had a focus but it wasn’t God’s focus. It was what I wanted God’s focus to look like and be like for my life. I couldn’t see or understand that giving control over to God was not going to disappoint me, nor would I have to settle for something lesser than my great idea. And I thought that maybe, just maybe, there was somebody else out there that was suffering from feeling like you were meant to do more in this life than what you are doing right now. For anyone who ever felt a grand calling on your life, but felt stuck or you don’t know how to achieve what you want to do, or are just struggling to figure out what you are supposed to be doing… this is for you guys. ❤

To the Starry Eyed, Big Dreamer, Called and Anointed Ones for Greatness,

Take heart. Don’t lose hope. This too will pass. You can seek God to fight your battles for you. He promised He would help you. Lean into that promise with everything you have left in you. Highlight His words to you and say them out loud. The Word of God is sharper than any two edged sword. When you feel low, read Psalms and echo David’s sentiments to God. There is something in Psalms and Proverbs alone that can fit any situation you are facing. These are His words to us. We must turn here with our dreams, our sorrows, our joys and to find guidance for our lives. It is easy to turn to a friend or Facebook or others for validation, but that is not going to sustain us on the days that we want to give up and abandon this dream. Because we are weary of fighting the enemy for what he knows will be a Powerful weapon for our Jesus. He hates those and he hates us. So we fight the true enemy, which we know requires a heavier armor. Our purpose is heavy. We must be prepared to defend it because we will be under siege if we don’t give up. <<
now your true enemy. Maintain a daily time with the Lord. No matter how brief. Just do it. You need it more than you can ever imagine! Mistakes are inevitable if you are trying something new. Just learn from each one. I kept a journal so I would remember what I learned from each tense situation. Don’t waste a mistake. And don’t let the enemy beat you up with them. He will taunt you with them, but be firm. Realign your focus. Realign your purpose. It will be hard. Anything worth accomplishing is and it’s hardly ever fair. Keep going. Keep the faith. It will come to pass. He cannot fail. We will fail. Adjust your expectations by just turning them over to God and letting Him do His thing.

He who is within You cannot fail,


Fellow Starry Eyed, Big Dreamer, Called and Anointed One for Greatness. 😉

The Apostle Paul wrote thirteen letter to Christ followers following his dramatic conversion from Saul. (Author note: what is with the name of Saul? They are generally not nice folks in Bible times!) He was an encourager and teacher to many people in those days. I love the words that he wrote to those believers before us still inspire us today.

A Guide to Paul’s Letters Photo Credits:

It may be Saturday…but Sunday’s on the WAY!

Holy Saturday, Saturday before Easter, Black Saturday, Easter Eve. 
I can’t imagine how bleak and dark this day was for the followers and especially the apostles of Jesus. Can you imagine how Peter was doing? He had denied His own Lord and Savior and wasn’t even present at Calvary to see Him die. We all know how Judas handled his betrayal of Jesus. We know John the loyal, steadfast one was the only apostle to remain with Him. We know Mary, Jesus’ mother, was there as well.

But what I really want to know how Mary, his mother, was doing. After all, she was the only one who truly knew (because of solid proof) that her son WAS indeed the Messiah. The human side of Mary had to be wracked with grief because of the agony of watching her beloved son and Savior die in the most gruesome of ways.. and it was because of her. Because of ALL who would follow her.  Because of us. We know she pondered things in her heart because the Scripture tells us this. 

Stop for just a minute to consider how Jesus had personally ministered to Mary since she was a young teen. He was her first child, the one who made her become a mother and who had been a perfect child. (By the way, can you imagine the heyday the enemy had to have created in the way of sibling rivalry? How do you compete when your brother is Jesus… AND your parents really do worship Him?! 😬😬😬)  I hesitate to think about all the mistakes I made with my firsts with either of my kids!! I was terrified most of the time. But if my baby was Jesus?!?! Good thing He is the Author of Forgiveness, I am just saying! 😂 

Parents can be so hard on themselves when they make a mistake with their child. Can you imagine the fight between Mary and Joseph when they both realized they had left their son, you know, only the Alpha and Omega, behind at the temple? How many times have I forged on in my life when things were good or I was busy, and left Jesus behind. Remember, Jesus was the only perfect member of that family…not his parents. 

Then again, I am almost glad that we don’t know what Mary was doing. Maybe she was holding a Prayer Vigil with her closest family and friends. Maybe she was pleading with them to have hope, because He did exactly as the Scriptures foretold and all has come to pass. But, somehow, I revel in the fact that Mary is a lot like all of us. Sometimes when we know something without a shadow of a doubt, the enemy still tries to make us doubt. Grief is blinding to every sense in your body. It would be perfectly acceptable for her to be inconsolable and alone, deep in sorrow. It’s hard for us to imagine because we know what happens on Sunday. 

So let’s dig deeper.

What about the situation you are facing, have faced, or will face soon? When you don’t know what the test results will say when they come back. When you aren’t sure your child is going to make it. When there’s no telling what will happen…the middle battleground. The Black Saturdays of our lives are the days of the unknown.  I personally believe that these are the reason faith is called a fight. It is a massive war on these days. If I am not armored up and prayed up, I am in trouble. My attitude will sour, my thoughts are more negative and my soul gets downcast. Even when I know, I have Victory in ANY situation because of what Jesus did and endured for me on Good Friday. 

Sometimes, we just have to give our deepest sorrows, regrets, failures and grief to the One who bore them already. He wants to take them from you. He KNOWS how heavy it is to carry all the baggage we lug around our lives. He lugged a cross that was heavy all on its own, without the sin of the world, all the way to Calvary. He finished it. Can we finish it?

If we can, we give our Savior the most beautiful gift that we will never get to give Him on the other side of Glory. No angel can provide that kind of worship to Him. Only the people He created out of His own image can offer Him the kind of surrender and love that we can give… if we choose to. And that is why it is such a beautiful gift for Him to receive. It is because we choose to, out of the free will that He gave us. Just like He chose to give His life for us.

So, in ALL our lives, in ALL our situations, let us remember, in the great words of Carman, Sunday’s on the way. 🎤  

Sunday’s on the way in the weakest areas of ourselves. Sunday’s on the way for the hurting. Sunday’s on the way for the brokenness. Sunday’s on the way for the lonely and the downcast souls!!! Watch out devil, because Sunday’s on the WAY!

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When God is in the Classroom

Mrs. Ackley

I’ve heard it said in various ways, “They have taken God out of the classroom.” I’ve even been asked, “How can you work in a public school when you can’t share your faith with the kids?” I’ve watched teachers walk away from public education with great frustration because of politics, evaluation systems, state standards, pay, and lack of support.

If I am being honest, there are days in which I ask, “Why am I still here?”

Yet, every time I ask myself that question, I hear a soft whisper in my soul… “Because I am here.”

God is in your classroom.

From the depths of my soul, I believe that God has never, can never, and will never be removed from the classroom–even a public school classroom.  One, He is bigger than that. Besides the fact that He is omnipresent , He is the “indwelling spirit” that fills you…

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IF: Gathering 2017…Disciple

I just experienced my very first IF: Gathering (mostly online) and may I say….WOW.

That was intense.

No wonder this thing has spread like wildfire. Ladies, if you have not experienced IF, you are missing out on seeing God showing up and MOVING. You can access it here and I gain nothing by you doing this. I am in no way affiliated with IF, just an amazed first time attendee. I implore you to watch these conversations and these teachings on your own time because they are powerful and are based on scripture that is alive and relevant for you, today.

Yesterday was my birthday and IF being the first weekend in February is the best gift I could imagine. What a blessing to spend 24 hours before beginning a new age to reflect and reprioritize! This year, the focus of the gathering was on the early church and how Jesus only used a few disciples. Twelve, to be exact. Those twelve spread the Good News across Judea, Samaria and all over the world. I had never studied Acts or the Apostles before. Now, I can’t stop thinking about them.  These men were with Jesus. They were chosen by Him to follow Him. They watched Him teach, heal, perform miracles, die, be buried, grieved His death, and saw Him after He rose again. They were the first ones to ever be filled with the Holy Spirit. And all but one died a martyr’s death for it.  Their stories are remarkable. Jesus changed their lives forever. He is still in the life changing business, which is good news in today’s world. It is our job, those of us who have experienced His goodness and His grace, to pour that into others so they can experience it for themselves.

I had a lot to unpack after hearing these dynamic women’s challenging sermons and I had to examine my heart and my motives. I am now one year older. What am I going to be intentional about this trip around the sun? I want it to count for the Kingdom…I want my life to matter in some way. Don’t we all want this to some degree or another? I decided to take Jennie Allen’s Word from God and apply  it. Disciple. Yes, Lord. Show me what it looks like for me. 

I believe He will show up and off for us in our own individual lives if we will simply offer up our hands and say, Yes, Lord. I will be a woman who says Yes to whatever You have planned for my life. Because I have tried to run it my own way and I have tanked it in fantastic fashion in so little time! We have so little time here on Earth. There are so many people hurting all around us that could really use Jesus. 

What if we said Yes, Lord? Choose me. Send me. I am ready. I will go. 

I don’t know what or where this will look like. I know it starts with an everyday intentional choice to surrender my will to His. Whether I feel like it or not. Jennie’s talk about discipline painfully convicted me that it is an area I have ignored for far too long. It is past time I addressed it. (Even though my Sanguine self screams against it!! 😂)

Photo Credits:


The Wrestling Match

I have always found the Biblical story of Jacob extremely interesting. They lived for so long back in those days, that they are intertwined in a lot of Biblical history! First of all, he is Isaac (of Abraham and Sarah) and Rebekah’s younger son. He has a twin brother who is older and can totally kick his you know what from birth, practically. No pressure living up to this family’s legacy (Grandpa Father of Nations over there) to begin with. All family has its Jerry Springer moments and this one was no different. I admit, I do find small amounts of comfort in that. 😂 

Jacob was a Mama’s boy and his Mama, Rebekah, had a prophecy given to her during her turbulent pregnancy with the twin boys. 

The Lord said to her, “Two nations are in your body. Two tribes that are now inside you will be separated. One nation will be stronger than the other. The older son will serve the younger one.” – Genesis 25:23

She later helped Jacob (#younger) trick his father into stealing Esau (#olderverymadmuchbiggerbrother)’s birthright. You have to consider that she probably thought she was doing God’s will. See, women aren’t stupid. We love ALL our kids the same, right? So if God tells you that one of them is going to serve the other one… then which one are you going to side with so you steer clear of a nursing home? Just throwing that out there. Not defending her by any means. I am just saying that it is a lot easier to read scripture thousands of years later and assume that we would make better choices when we regularly miss great opportunities in our own lives on a day to day basis.

This wasn’t the first time Jacob used deceit when it came to his brother. (Jealous, much?) Genesis 25:29-34 tells us about how Esau came in from a hunting trip and was so hungry, he gave Jacob whatever he wanted for wanted for a bowl of stew. Of course, Jacob wanted his birthright. That sounds crazy to us, but I can name too many things I traded in for a bowl of stew in my life. Taking the easy way instead the right way. Applying a short term, earthly fix to a spiritual problem. How many times have I traded in my birthright for a bowl of stew because I was facing a storm? That is the trigger for me. Maybe it’s different for you.

It’s not always easy to remember that we have an Anchor in the storm. Until you do remember in a storm. Then, it changes how you view storms.

I used to fear storms in my life. Truth be told, fear had a stronghold so deep in my world that I suffered physical symptoms because of it for years. It was linked to my gut and stomach. I worried and feared about horrible outcomes that never came. I wallowed in self pity and regret. I listened to thoughts that whispered self deprecating lies about myself because I did not put enough truth in between my ears to know the difference between lies and truths. Friends, please learn from my mistakes. Pick up the Bible. Google God’s Promises to you. Listen to the lyrics of this song.

“No Longer Slaves”

You unravel me with a melody
You surround me with a song

Of deliverance from my enemies

‘Til all my fears are gone

I’m no longer a slave to fear

I am a child of God
From my mother’s womb
You have chosen me

Love has called my name

I’ve been born again

Into your family

Your blood flows through my veins

I’m no longer a slave to fear

I am a child of God
I am surrounded

By the arms of the father

I am surrounded

By songs of deliverance
We’ve been liberated

From our bondage

We’re the sons and the daughters

Let us sing our freedom
You split the sea

So I could walk right through it

My fears were drowned in perfect love

You rescued me

And I could stand and sing

I am a child of God…
You split the sea

So I could walk right through it

You drowned my fears in perfect love

You rescued me

And I will stand and sing

I am a child of God
Yes, I am

I am a child of God

I am a child of God

Yes, I am

I am a child of God

Full of faith

Yes, I am a child of God

I am a child of God

I’m no longer a slave to fear

I am a child of God -Bethel Music Video

Jacob probably had some strongholds, I would imagine. After all, he was on the run from a really mad Esau and Friends. (Sounds like a kids show!) Simply put, Jacob is sweating bullets and becomes desperate to save his life. He then comes into contact with an Angel. The Angel is basically telling him that he is lacking in some major areas. Jacob is obviously feeling very guilty and repents over and over to the Angel. The Angel, however, refuses to budge. Jacob, in all his desperation and worry, begins to WRESTLE the Angel. (Dude…no, do you really think you’ll win?!) But he doesn’t care! Why? What could be so important that he would act the fool with a representative of God? He wrestled him to receive a blessing! This guy is obsessed with blessings!  This post explains it well and compares it to present day believers:
“There is so little exercise of true faith and so little of the weight of truth resting upon many professed believers because they are indolent in spiritual things. They are unwilling to make exertions, to deny self, to agonize before God, to pray long and earnestly for the blessing, and therefore they do not obtain it. That faith which will live through the time of trouble must be daily in exercise now. Those who do not make strong efforts now to exercise persevering faith, will be wholly unprepared to exercise that faith which will enable them to stand in the day of trouble.”

He wrestled with this Angel all night. He wouldn’t stop. He couldn’t stop. It’s fascinating to me. First of all, what had to be going through Jacob’s head to wrestle an Angel?! I mean, that is wrestling with not flesh and blood to the most literal terms!! If the Angel killed him, what would happen? I guess he didn’t care. He must have been so desperate for God to move on his behalf, he would have done anything and given anything to be different. 

I have been there. This rings very true with me in different parts of my life. Times that I questioned it all. I couldn’t and refused to try and understand. It can very vividly be described as a wrestling match within myself. I think a lot of people have a similar experience in their lives as well. It is a time when you must decide what you’re going to believe and follow it, no matter what. A time when you must set your true North. It can be a situation, a diagnosis, an addiction, a death, worries, anxiety, depression, or any kind of overwhelming circumstances that will test every part of you. Pieces you never knew existed will be under attack from forces you never see. You may wrestle for awhile with God, but don’t ever let Him go. 

Jacob refused to let go. The Angel touched his hip and dislocated it and Jacob never walked right again. But what a story he had to tell why he was using a cane! The cane is a symbol of leaning on God. He got his blessing from the Lord and his name was changed to Israel. He ended up fulfilling his part of his family’s legacy.

But not without struggle. Not without a wrestling match. 

Struggle is not an ideal place to be. It is not something we choose for ourselves and no matter how many inspiring pins we pin to our spiritual Pinterest boards, it is uncomfortable. It hurts. It can make us angry and emotional. It doesn’t tend to bring out our best. But it is shaping us to be our best. Painfully. Slowly. Persevering. 

This definitely sounds like a trait that comes from God to me. The many blessings that come to those with a tenacious mindset and have staying power include longer and happier marriages, raising children that stick with problems even when they are difficult, determination to keep going in journies to getting healthier and actually reaching goals we set, going to work with a purposefulness in mind and refusing to let distractions sidetrack what we are meant to accomplish. Perseverance can help us in every single area of our lives. And we receive it by the testing of our faith.

So stand strong and pray. Grab on and don’t let go. Receive the blessing. ❤️
Photo Credits:

Image created with Bible app

2016….The Year That Wasn’t. Except it Was.

I use Timehop and I am enjoying a 40 day streak (longest ever for me!) where I remember to check the app to see my social media and IPhone picture past from the last seven years or so. This came up a few days ago. 

Better prices and new beginnings were my hopes capping off a shocking layoff early in the year. Well, now that I am at the end of 2016, I can say that new beginnings definitely happened. I became an art and computers teacher in a junior high school. Better prices didn’t really happen. But my definition on what it meant did. I went through a health issue with my left eye that got worse before it got better over a period of months later on in 2016. I was learning to teach and trying to balance it all out. (I feel sorry for my students for having me my very first time in this field!)  But I learned that my weakness is made perfect in Him. He can sustain me and allow me to grow and learn and cultivate relationships with my students that needed to be there during key moments in both mine and their lives. He can be trusted with my health. He can be trusted with my daughter. He is our Healer. He surrounds me with His loving kindness through an incredibly caring church family. He encourages me through my family and friends. I am blessed and where I am meant to be at this time in my life. None of this was attained without cost or great loss to me in some defined quantity; but the question became what is my measure of value for life going to look like? 

Solomon could have had anything, literally ANYTHING he wanted from God. He picked wisdom. Even God Himself was so impressed with Solomon’s request that He granted it and had to give him more because his answer was just that good! Now, Solomon’s earthly father was King David. King David was no mere mortal among men. He was described in the scriptures as a man after God’s own Heart… so just throwing it out there that Solomon definitely had connections. He had to have heard the incredible stories about his father, both amazing and horrifying. After all, his dad had the ability to magnify mistakes and glories to a magnitude of 50K. Bathsheba was Solomon’s mama. She was beautiful and had lost her first baby with David due to “bad choices on David’s part.” Not really hers. She pretty much had to do what the King commanded. But still, God chose Solomon. No matter what his parents had done, Solomon loved God. And for a brief time, Solomon followed God and was an incredible vessel for His glory on this Earth. He tragically fell later and succumbed to the world. But, for a time, he was a great ruler. There are great lessons to be learned from Solomon, even today.

Loved ones were lost this year, too. It was a year full of trials for many people. We were never promised a trial free existence. We were promised joy and perseverance and that our faith would be made perfect, lacking nothing

“Possessing joy is a choice. We choose whether to value God’s presence, promises, and work in our lives. When we yield to the Spirit, He opens our eyes to God’s grace around us and fills us with joy (Romans 15:13). Joy is not to be found in a fallen world; it is only fellowship with God that can make our joy complete (1 John 1:4).”

We can choose to follow other gods like Solomon or remain in his first choice: Seek God’s wisdom in our lives. Ask for discernment in our choices. Seek and choose joy. It’s part of His yoke and it is the light part. Praise as much as you can. It is good for our souls to do it in any plight. We show the enemy that he cannot stop us from thanking our Jesus and praising His Name, no matter what he tries to throw at us. We will not give up because we believe that the name of Jesus is the most powerful name there is. And He is worth fighting for. ❤️

We are in a season to remember and celebrate His coming to Earth to save us from ourselves. May we remember that when the enemy tempts us to remember things that take our focus off the One who was born to redeem us and changes our future for eternity as well as on Earth. We remember and Rejoice!

May we choose the fullness of joy in all seasons of our lives. May we meet trials and suffering head on with this confidence. That the blood of Jesus is more powerful than any two edged sword and the name of Jesus is to be praised in 2017 and beyond. ❤️

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When It Rains

There are times in this life that test everything you have, everything you know and everything you believe. Spiritual attacks can roll into your everyday life so minor that you don’t even notice them until they build up and beat down relentlessly for a season. I visualize them as Oklahoma thunderstorms in April and May. There is a “season” that we Oklahomans know to be weather aware and smart about severe weather preparation. Supercells can spring up unexpectedly and sometimes all the warnings in the world cannot prepare you for what you are about to endure. The intensity of a situation can change in minutes. High pressure moments crashing into low emotions can create a funnel of destruction across your life in minutes. Tornado sirens are not out of the norm for me, as a native Oklahoman. However, I admit that I do feel much safer now that we have a storm shelter installed. (Except my husband never thinks we need to go down there. Even when the weatherman says to. But that’s another topic for another day! 😂😉❤️)

*Personal Note.

I faced a storm a year ago now that involved almost losing my precious then four year old daughter. If you know me very well, you would know that I spent almost all of my pregnancy with her terrified of what may come next. Would I lose her? Would I miscarry again? When is it okay to hope again? Is this my fault somehow? Could I have done more or less or changed the outcome, somehow? The enemy had a heyday with my thought life. I was so focused on the storm, I forgot to keep my eyes on Jesus. 

Until He gently and firmly reminded me to look up and remember who He was. He was the very same Jesus who healed a Roman Centurion’s daughter because of his faith in Him. He was and is the very same One whose cloak healed a very sick woman, simply because of her belief that all she needed to do was just touch His hem and she would receive restoration of life that could be found nowhere else. A timely Word reminded me that I am not in control of what happens in this life, but I know the One who promised me that He would use all things for good if I love and trust Him. 

Funny when the real stress of this life hits and your view on life is never the same as it was before. I will never forget the surrealness of those hours that December 22 or 23. I can’t remember, exactly. They ran together after that midnight, when all hell broke loose. But they couldn’t have her. No, she belonged to Jesus. And Jesus was going to heal her completely. I started thanking Him ahead of the Miracle at St. Francis Children’s Hospital. 
That’s what I refer to it as. We came in so scared and yet so confident that Jesus would meet us there and cleanse her with healing power like only He has. I had heard a sermon about this just beforehand. God is moved by our faith. He wants to know what we are willing to surrender for it. I found my way to the chapel in a beautiful building that housed these beautiful children who were all so very sick from one ailment or another. And I couldn’t help but ache for Someone to heal them. All of them. But especially my little punkin bear. And I laid everything out that I had at His feet, including everything I had been holding back. For a change.

And He gave everything back to me better. Faster. Truer. It was love, a tangible love, that He opened my baby’s eyes again and she got better and better. Jesus healed my daughter. Hallelujah!!! I will never forget how I had never experienced true gratitude or complete brokenness than I did in those moments. But, they completely changed my relationship with Christ forever. It became my faith in those moments. 

I imagine how Peter must have felt when Christ pulled him out from what had to have been a terrifying moment for him, and in an instant, total peace. No more raging waves of fear and anxiety or turmoil. All of it gone, in a heartbeat. Safety achieved, it became an iconic example of how we should navigate storms in our own lives. Whether they fall from the sky or swallow us up in seas of regret and pain, God can use ALL things for good. God is good. All the time. All the time. God is good. ❤

Photo Credits:;thunderstorm

The Cell Phone Waiting Lot of Life

I went to visit a dear friend in Atlanta a year ago today, and I saw something that I had never seen before at the airport. There was a cell phone waiting lot. This intrigued me. (Why? I have no idea) I had to find out more about this cell phone waiting lot. It sounded pretty self explanatory. It is a lot where you can park and wait to pick up a passenger without having to pay. You basically wait until your person says, “Hey, I’m here!” It is a good way to keep the traffic more clear and less congestion. Pretty good idea! I saw this at my own hometown airport and remember thinking, we have arrived! We have a cell phone waiting lot! 😂

Then God showed me that my life should resemble that of a cell phone waiting lot. 

Wait, What? (These are the profound things I hear. A cell phone lot?)

I love the way God ministers to me personally because He knows my nature is to find beauty in random things. He has a cool sense of humor. Sometimes. 😄 (Okay all the time but sometimes it isn’t as funny to me… 😉)

I think Joseph would understand living life in a cell phone waiting lot. God showed him a grand vision of his future right before he got sold into slavery by the hand of his own brothers. Waiting lot and the passenger he is waiting for is God, Himself. I want to know if Joseph ever freaked out just once. The Bible isn’t specific, but I envision it sounding like this if I were Joseph:

Jo: Um, God? Are you there God, it’s me, Joseph. (😉) Is this because I bragged about my dream to my brothers? Because they were evidently not nearly as excited as I thought they would be. God? Day 2. What is going on?!?! Seriously? Is this a joke? Day 40. God. I am sorry about the coat thing, too. Day 146. What did I do? My life is over. There is nothing left for me. My whole life is gone. 

Good thing I am not Joseph, right? God would have probably struck me down right then and there for ruining the awesome Bible Story with the cool coat guy.Who went on to become falsely accused of rape. Then, having the ultimate chance at revenge…and choosing live, a chance at family and forgiveness instead. Joseph spent a LOT of time waiting in the cell phone LOT called jail or slavery in his lifetime. Waiting for the moment God promised him in a unique way to Joseph alone. And Joseph believed. And he overcame it ALL through the one who would mirror the same savior to all humanity. 

Sometimes, I wish the Bible elaborated more and let us know how okay with this Joseph was in every moment. Because it is hard to stay humble in the lot. “But, God, I earned this promotion. We both know it.” “God, I beg of you, please get me out of this situation and I swear I will do whatever you want me to forever. Just help me this once!” “God, when is it my time? How long must I wait?” (He heard that last one from me quite a bit.) 

But maybe it is listed in the Bible only as Joseph’s overall theme, or decision, to stick to God’s plan for a reason. That is a clear point in the story. Joseph could have quit and had lots of opportunities to do so. The odds stacked against him in Potifer’s eyes, a man he respected and owed a great deal to. When the lid shut over his head and he could no longer hear the mocking or yelling of his brothers. The Bible doesn’t tell us what he thought but I can only imagine what I had been thinking if I were Joseph. And that humbles me pretty fast. My focus is too often only on what I can see. What I can prove. What my past experiences have shaped my outlook to be. But God is most concerned in our faith. What do we believe, no matter what we complain about or voice fears or concerns or anger toward? What do we believe? Because if it is circumstantial, we will never live in the peace Jesus died for us to have in our daily lives. Who wants us to live in constant worry, defeat, anxiety, live in the WHAT-ifs realm and forget about others and what God wants for us. Not Jesus. Our spiritual enemy.

Armor of God Prayer for Mornings
We must put on our armor DAILY and prepare for attacks on our minds and hearts, especially. 

We may not see the why in our situation. In some, we may never know this side of heaven. Here is what we can know:

How do we hope in the Lord, even when we are in the waiting lot of life?

Janet Eckles Article

Let’s connect to the Lord’s WiFi. #vinebrancheswifi

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